You connected with Maxi instantly and loved the spunk she seemed to have. The lady at the shelter showed you how well that girl already sits on command, and she pointed out how sweet Maxi is.
You get everything ready at home including a beautiful new dog bed and cool toys. The first 2 days were easy. Maxi followed you around like a shadow. She was a bit scared you could tell and had to learn where to go potty which was surprisingly easy. On the 3rd day, Maxi got a bit crazy. She was running around at a speed you simply could not follow and stopping her … well, you had to wait it out and try to protect your coffee table and some other stuff from being knocked over.
You had no idea how challenging a dog can be. You wonder if you did the right thing and are up to the task. I suspect you also feel a bit like a failure for not being able to do the right thing (shouldn’t it be fun?).
You are not alone. I never doubted my decision to bring my Nyx home but had many moments where I thought I just do not have what it takes to help her to lose her fear of so many things and give her the right kind of love. I even took some private lessons from a dog trainer right after I adopted her. I did learn the basics and some of them worked wonderfully – at home – but walks remained super challenging.
Some people thought I was silly to worry so much about my dog and her fears and all. See, I wasn’t a dog person as I met my husband. He had a German Shepherd who was already 5 and wonderfully trained. I didn’t have to do anything and just love that girl.
Later I got a puppy (7 weeks old) and after another 5 years, we added a new puppy (12 weeks old). My two dogs were not perfect but did what I expected from them. However, adopting a one-year-old rescue with a past was a whole other story. I think the hardest thing was the walks when people noticed that my pup had a meltdown whenever she saw another dog. I felt judged and a failure because I seemed to be unable to fix my Nyx.
Sometimes you talk with strangers and even friends who tell you that their dog is not pulling on the leash, that they are well socialized (the dogs I mean, lol), and all the tricks their puppies do … some even recommend you hire a trainer because you got to do a better job.
Listen, you are NOT a failure. All these feelings are normal. First, you are a super caring dog parent. Not everyone cares so much about a dog to worry so much and has even some sleepless nights over it.
Give it some time. I promise it is going to get better. An older man said that once to me many years ago as I walked my first puppy and that little girl pulled like crazy on the leash. And it was true.
It will get better! Not right away. It takes a lot of time, patience, and love. Most likely it is not going to be easy. Maybe your dog will never be perfect. Focus on the things that you want from your dog and not what others want to see. YOU live with your baby and nobody else. My Nyx still has fear issues on the walk. After more than 1 ½ years of working with her every single day. It did get a bit better. But it is a long road that requires all my calmness and patience.
One day you will look back and see the progress your dog made. Always keep that in mind. Especially if you see your rescue get better … be proud of it. It was you who helped that girl or boy to find joy in life and discover that people can be loving and caring.
You are doing nothing “wrong”. It is often hard, and the challenges are real. But you can handle them. You will learn from it and be able to adjust your approach. Always remember not to give up and go at your own pace and that of your puppy.
Christina - Don't Shop ... Adopt
